


Letters

by Fauxginger



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 02:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2834906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fauxginger/pseuds/Fauxginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She sends him letters when she is away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

She sends him letters when she is away.

Every time she stops at a camp she sends one back with a messenger, telling him what she’s done since her last letter. Sometimes the gap isn't more than a day, sometimes it’s a week. He worries. Only once does she not send a letter for an entire fortnight. He’s nervous for days, skipping training because he’s so ill from worry he can't eat or sleep. Once or twice his eyes travel over to where the lyrium is stored. If that Iron Bull had dragged her into another fight with a dragon he'd…

The gates of Skyhold open and in walk the team she’d taken with her. He runs to meet them and is terrified when he sees her being supported by Dorian, her head hanging.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, rushing to help. Her eyes open at the sound of his voice.

“Cullen? Oh my love…I forgot your letter…” she strokes his face, a weak smile before losing consciousness.

“We were ambushed at the last camp.” Dorian explains as they help the inquisitor to her quarters. “We were all exhausted; low on supplies… she insisted we were looked after.”

“Is she?” Cullen looks her over for signs of injury.

“Not injured no, just exhausted. I don't think she’s slept in the past 3 days, and we've been disastrously low on food.” When they reach her room Dorian runs to the kitchen to fetch her some food, though they know her sleep is more important. Cullen stands by her bed after taking her armour off (leaving her undershirt and trousers on), watching her, both relieved she’s alive but still worried for her health. Cole taps him on the shoulder.

“She was writing this when… I know it’s for you.” The young man hands him a piece of paper before looking at the inquisitor sympathetically, and then leaving. Cullen looks at it. The paper is crumpled, either from being in Cole’s pocket or from the ambush.

_Cullen,_   
_I miss you. I wish I didn't have to leave you so much. I have something_

The letter ends there. He stares at it for a long time, wondering what those next words would have told him. Dorian returns with some food and doesn’t say a word as he places it on the desk and leaves. Cullen slumps into the sofa beside the bed, watching her chest rise and fall, confirming her life. She looks different, though he cannot figure out what exactly has changed. It isn't long before she wakes, maybe an hour or so.

“When did I get here?” Her voice makes him jump to his feet. She doesn’t sit up; she simply stares at the ceiling before turning her head to look at him. She smiles “Hello”

“Hello.” He replies. “Cole gave me your letter.” He holds the letter up. Her face is suddenly red.

“That’s not…” she composes herself, sitting up slowly. “Cole…” He fetches the food from her desk and she eats it slowly, staring out the window. Is she purposely avoiding his gaze because he read the letter?

* * *

Its hours later before she next speaks to him, the sun set and both of them in their bedclothes, lying facing each other in her bed.

“I have something to tell you.” She says, and Cullen remembers the uncompleted sentence in her letter.

“What is it?” he places a hand on her hip. She looks at him, she looks like she’s about to cry, before slowly taking his hand and moving it to her belly. They don’t speak. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She begins to sob and all he can do is stroke her hair while trying not to do so himself.

Why now? Why when everything can be lost does he get what he most wants? Was this some cruel joke, that after everything he’s been through he is rewarded at a time it can all be destroyed? He wants to scream. But he must remain strong for her. She looks up at him and he cannot think. So he kisses her and that is what breaks him. She notices his tears as they kiss and pulls back. They stare at each other.

“It’s not fair.” She whispers. He agrees, holding her tighter.

“I will not lose you.” He says to the both of them. 


End file.
